Anonymous asked: I'm thinking about coming out to my mum and Dad.I like both men, and women. However if I was to say anything, it would be pansexual. But i am worried about being kicked out, i know i could just not tell them. But well It's something i feel they should know.
Honestly, I think every queer kid should have an emergency backup escape plan. If you don’t have a job, get one. Save up at least $500 of your own money. Find a friend you could stay with for a few weeks if things go entirely south, preferably close enough to home so that you can stay in school. If you’re not in school, see if you can get involved in a local school-to-work program; you’ll get an education and money at the same time, plus quite possibly a place to stay.
While you’re saving your money, though, try to make a realistic assessment of how likely your parents are to kick you out. First off, how homophobic are they? Even if they’re OK with queers in general, they might have different feelings about one of their own being gay. See if you can assess how they feel about other queers’ parents; if they feel that having a queer kid is a sign of a bad parent, they’ll probably take the news pretty hard.
Also, consider how tight-knit your family is, and how forgiving. Are transgressors against the norm routinely disowned, brought to heel, tolerated, or cherished as entertainingly quirky? Does your family have a history of kicking kids out of the house, or of having the kind of rifts where relatives no longer speak with each other? If your family doesn’t do this type of thing, odds are they won’t do it to you.
If your family doesn’t seem virulently homophobic OR apt to kick you out, I highly endorse Ms Jess’ patented subtle method of coming out. Instead of making any dramatic speeches, just don’t hide your attractions. Talk about your celebrity crushes, all of them. Sing along to pop songs professing love for the “wrong” gender. Ask them for tips on how to catch the eye of the cute gender-queer in your third-period math class. Invite people of various genders out on dates- and make sure that your parents know that the event is indeed a date. If they don’t cotton on after all of that, they are either terminally dense or in deliberate denial. You might then have to make a speech, but at least you’ll have concrete examples to point out to them.