Anonymous asked: Is it bad of me to feel very uncomfortable when I see young people petitioning strangers on Tumblr for money for sex reassignment masectomies? I know that many trans* kids don't have their families' support, but it seems really sus for anyone to be asking total strangers for money for cosmetic surgery. It's different if they're asking friends and family who know their psychological history, but getting/giving money for cosmetic surgery seems wrong.
You can feel however you are inclined to feel. It’s not like you’re telling them to stop, or telling people not to donate, or just standing on the street corner screaming “BOOTSTRAPS!!” (Are you?) This is a boundary issue, as are so many things on the internet. They are (in my opinion) practising poor boundaries by asking strangers for money; you can model better boundaries by keeping your opinion, and your money, to yourself.
You didn’t ask, but I’d like to add that calling FtM chest reconstruction ”cosmetic” surgery is rather problematic. In a perfect world, where we judged people on the content of their minds rather than the shape of their bodies, the gamut of chest and genital surgeries would be merely cosmetic. However, the reality is that our society is OBSESSED with bodies. You can’t be a “real” woman unless you look like X, can’t be a “real” man unless you look like Y, and never the twain shall meet. Between the external pressure of total strangers making wildly unfounded assumptions, and the psychological pressure of having internalised this attitude, many trans people are desperate for gender-confirming (not “sex change”) surgery. When something is that important, both to the would-be patient, and to society at large, calling it “cosmetic” is an understatement.
As to the psychological state of the people asking for money, that’s between them, their psychologists, and their surgeons. The mere fact that the shrinks are involved at all is an example of how this isn’t merely cosmetic. If you want a face lift, or an ass lift, or even whatever the Hell Michael Jackson had done, you’re never asked to consult a shrink. Heck, if I wanted BIGGER tits, I could go to a doctor tomorrow, and the only screening question would be “Visa or Mastercard?” However, if I wanted to have such bosoms as I have whittled down an inch or so, I’d have to jump through all kinds of hoops to prove I’m not “going through a phase” or “going to regret it.”
And as for “wrong” or “right…” damn, don’t ask me. The only moral criterion I have is “will it hurt someone, and might it help someone?” It’s not wrong of the trans people to ask, but it isn’t wrong of you to refuse, either.